解忧 比我大17岁的男友两年没上班怎么办？
<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010513" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010513"><!-- 付费贴--> <div class="preview_article "> <!----> <section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; white-space: normal; background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 16px; font-family: 微软雅黑; margin-bottom: 24px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 677px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 677px; display: flex; justify-content: center; align-items: flex-end; box-sizing: border-box !important; 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background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-size: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; background-image: url('https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FkFk9Alu_sE-_kIr3gF7XfFmz6u4'); background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-size: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="padding: 1em; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 1.5px; line-height: 1.75em; color: #8eb3bd; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 24px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="color: #7a4442; font-size: 12px;"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, Arial, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, WenQuanYi Micro Hei, sans-serif; text-align: start; letter-spacing: 1.5px; text-decoration: none solid #7a4442;">△网络图</span></strong></strong></span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><strong><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">男友比我大17岁，平时就像父母一样在照顾我，给我做饭，端茶倒水。</span></strong><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">就是那种我坐在凳子上伸个手就能够到杯子，但我喊他给我拿他也会拿的那种照顾。<strong>因为我原生家庭太糟糕，我真的是第一次体验到被爱的感觉。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">但是最近两年他都没在上班，因为疫情，加上大龄找工作困难，他一直在家休息。他的妈妈去年十月进了养老院，他每个月还得补贴一千多元给他妈妈。这期间他一直都是花他自己的存款，但是我的收入开始不稳定了，这让我非常没有安全感。<strong>我一直在催他找工作，他也确实一直在刷招聘软件，可是几乎拿不到面试机会。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">我一直在努力理解，大龄求职很困难，可是两年了，哪怕他随便找个事做每个月工资只有两千元，这两年也能挣5万元的。我完全认可“gap”这个理念，<strong>可是我收入不稳定后他还在“gap”我真的压力太大了，经常焦虑得睡不着觉。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">我很想开一家属于自己的店，我也一直在思考怎么样挣到额外的钱加快存钱，可是他只出不进，只靠我一个人真的很累。我开始有点难以说服自己了。</span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">我也很明白，我们不是感情出问题，我很爱他，他也很爱我。但面包也很重要啊。<strong>他的脑回路是挣钱少就极致压低生活成本，而我的脑回路是努力挣更多的钱提高生活质量。</strong>难道因为我和他在一起我就必须像他一样永远都在计较菜贵了几毛水果贵了几毛吗？我们不能一起努力挣更多的钱实现超市自由吗？</span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">我知道人的想法是很难改变的，他也一把年纪了，我要求他改变多少有点强人所难，何况选择安安稳稳地活着也没什么问题。<strong>可我就是一边理解，一边又会觉得难受，我会难过我以后都是那个冲在前面的人，我会累的啊，总有一天我会想退在后面，让别人给我遮风挡雨。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px;"><span style="color: #007aaa; font-size: 15px;">我不知道是不是我要求太高，但难受是真的。我不知道下一步该怎么做，难道真的要分手吗？</span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 16px; text-align: right;"><span style="text-align: right;">来源：豆瓣小组</span></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; line-height: normal; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> </p><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 677px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 4em; display: inline-block; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img class="__bg_gif rich_pages wxw-img" style="display: block; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; visibility: visible !important; width: 4em !important; height: auto !important;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FpVZ4trb0QBvf2jfE60ddIlBxXDP" /></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-bottom: 24px;"><section><section><section style="font-size: 16px;"><section style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box; width: 100%;"><section style="display: flex; justify-content: center; align-items: center;"><section style="box-sizing: border-box; width: 130px;"><section style="box-sizing: border-box; border-radius: 100%; overflow: hidden; margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-bottom: 100%; height: 0px; background-image: url('https://pic.app.58cammp.com/Fh8UZ0r65mnbRnxmKgm7NgcgF7z1'); background-position: 50% 50%; background-size: cover; max-width: 100% !important;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" style="box-sizing: border-box; vertical-align: inherit; opacity: 0; width: 100%; height: auto !important;" title="微信图片_20220306174913.jpg" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/Fh8UZ0r65mnbRnxmKgm7NgcgF7z1" /></section></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-left: 1em; width: 180px; border-left: 2px solid #be7763; padding-left: 1em;"><p style="vertical-align: inherit; color: #be7763; font-size: 22px; margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 17px;">艾 玛</span></strong></p><section style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit;"><p style="vertical-align: inherit; color: #be7763; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em; margin-top: 5px;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">他偏向被动应对，而你更愿意主动争取。</span></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> </p></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; white-space: normal; background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 16px; font-family: 微软雅黑; margin-bottom: 24px; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="margin: 15px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-top: 10px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 10px; color: inherit; border-top: 1px solid #c6c6c7; border-bottom: 1px solid #c6c6c7; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-top: -1px; margin-left: 226.445px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 40px; color: inherit; height: 8px; width: 420.547px; background-color: #fefefe; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: #c6c6c7; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“</span></section><section style="margin: 5px 15px 20px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; line-height: 1.75em; color: #595959; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 1.5px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; text-indent: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> </p><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><p><span style="font-size: 16px; text-indent: 2em;">题主，再唯美的情感世界都会被现实生活存在的问题打破，尤其是你当需要考虑怎么和“比你大17岁的男友不上班”这样的现实抗衡。</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">从经济支出情况来说，他一直靠存款来维持不是长久之计，因为如此一来，所有的消费都需要精打细算。同时，两个人的经济收入就靠你一个人并不现实，也和你未来的理想生活冲突。</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">虽然，你很难割舍掉彼此之间的情感，但掌柜看来，</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px; color: #3da742;">这段感情维持的时间不会太长。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">你心里的美好画面是两人一起为未来奋斗，但你俩在消费观上的差距是显而易见的：他偏向被动应对，而你更愿意主动争取。</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 16px; color: #3da742;">你俩想修成感情的正果，消费观绝对不是一个小问题。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">现在这些情况就让你想起来很难受，那么以后呢？究竟什么时候才是终点？一个人的努力远没有双向奔赴来得精彩。好好思考下吧！</span></p><p> </p></section></section></section><section style="margin-bottom: -8px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 40px; background-color: #fefefe; color: inherit; text-align: right; height: 10px; width: 420.547px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: #c6c6c7; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">”</span></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 677px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 4em; display: inline-block; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; line-height: normal; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> </p></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 677px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; display: flex; justify-content: center; align-items: center; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; width: 130px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto; padding-bottom: 130px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; border-radius: 100%; overflow: hidden; width: 130px; height: 0px; background-image: url('https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FoEioC9X-LxnFuRGc0A2h1Ku4CUQ'); background-position: 50% 50%; background-size: cover; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" style="opacity: 0; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; visibility: visible !important; width: 130px !important; height: auto !important;" title="undefined" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FoEioC9X-LxnFuRGc0A2h1Ku4CUQ" /></section></section><section style="margin-left: 1em; padding-left: 1em; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; width: 180px; border-left: 2px solid #be7763; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="margin-bottom: 5px; max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; color: #be7763; font-size: 22px; line-height: 1.59em; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 17px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">Y</span></strong></p><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="margin-bottom: 5px; max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; color: #be7763; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.59em; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 14px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="font-family: 微软雅黑; text-indent: 28px; text-wrap: wrap; color: #be7763; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-decoration: none solid #be7763;">“中年男人失业后的避风港”工作，也已经卷得厉害了。</span></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><p style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"> </p></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="margin: 15px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-top: 10px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 10px; color: inherit; border-top: 1px solid #c6c6c7; border-bottom: 1px solid #c6c6c7; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-top: -1px; margin-left: 226.445px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 40px; color: inherit; height: 8px; width: 420.547px; background-color: #fefefe; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: #c6c6c7; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“</span></section><section style="margin: 5px 15px 20px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; line-height: 1.75em; color: #595959; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 1.5px; box-sizing: border-box !important; word-wrap: break-word !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-indent: 2em;">题主，我看到你已经很努力地尝试去理解和包容男友的现状，这或许是出于你对男友尽心照顾你的感恩，或许是由于你善良的本性。</span><span style="font-size: 16px; text-indent: 2em;">无论如何，都是值得称赞的。</span></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">诚然，你在默默承担的背后难免积累下了不少委屈；不过，难道你男友就不会有同样的烦恼吗？作为一个年长你17岁的男性，又限于现实条件长期赋闲在家，</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px; color: #ff4f79;">他心中的焦虑、无助与疲倦是可以想见的。只是他未必向你表露而已。</span></strong></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">你说让他去找一个月入2000元的工作，但现实很可能是在你俩身处的环境里，这样的岗位也未必能轻松找到、对他而言未必能持续下去。君不见，过去我们认为的外卖快递、网约车这种</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px; color: #ff4f79;">“中年男人失业后的避风港”工作，也已经卷得厉害了。</span></strong></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">在这种情况下，</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px; color: #ff4f79;">他主张的节流与你想要的开源显然并不矛盾。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">谁都不想降低生活品质，可是人要接地气，要清醒地面对现实。暂时不能“超市自由”并不可怕，只要你俩齐心，彼此不放弃不抛弃，挺过这段困难的时期，未来仍然有许多可能！</span></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">在掌柜看来，你俩是可以做到同甘共苦的。你的内心感受，跟他好好说说；也让他跟你倒倒苦水，讨论一下近期的计划。能过去的！</span></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: #3e3e3e; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; border: 0px none initial;"><section style="font-size: 16px;"><section style="font-size: 16px;"><section style="font-size: 16px;"><section style="text-align: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-bottom: -10px; margin-left: 0%;"><section style="display: inline-block; min-width: 10%; vertical-align: top; padding-left: 20px;"><section style="transform: translate3d(-20px, 0px, 0px); margin: 10px 0% -30px; text-align: center;"><section style="font-size: 15px; color: #434444; text-align: justify;"></section></section><section><section style="display: inline-block; width: 60px; height: 40px; vertical-align: top; overflow: hidden;"><section style="margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; transform: rotateY(180deg); line-height: 0;"><section style="vertical-align: middle; display: inline-block; line-height: 0;"></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-bottom: 24px;"><section><section><section style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><section style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: justify; font-size: 16px;"><section style="text-align: right; margin: 0px 0% -10px; box-sizing: border-box;"></section></section></section></section></section></section><p style="display: none;"> </p> <!----></div> ok 这是在中国？
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