【夜读】不想孩子养成“讨好型人格”，父母要常说这5句话
<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712"><!-- 付费贴--> <div class="preview_article "> <!----> <section><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">每个孩子<br style="visibility: visible;" /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">都是独一无二的个体</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">拥有自己的想法和感受</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">但在成长过程中</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">有些孩子可能会因为</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">害怕被拒绝或不被认可</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">逐渐形成一味讨好他人</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">放弃自己需求的“讨好型人格”</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">作为父母</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">常说这5句话</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">可以让孩子学会</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">尊重自己、勇敢表达</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg" style="width: 100%; height: auto;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FkW22f1Cmt7EtqG9wueDSdTIkisw" /></p><section></section><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><p> </p><section><section><section style="font-size: 16px; color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="font-size: 19px; text-align: center; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: -30px; transform: translate3d(-1px, 0px, 0px);"><section style="display: inline-block; background-color: #f0db6f; width: 1.8em; height: 1.8em; line-height: 1.8em; border-radius: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; font-size: 34px; color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #f0db6f;"><p><strong>1</strong></p></section></section><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; padding: 30px; background-color: #f9faf4; border: 0px solid #f0db6f;"><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"> </p></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px; color: #d6a841;">“孩子，你的感受很重要”</span></strong></p><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">为人父母，请一定要告诉孩子：“你的感受非常重要，不要总是委屈自己，不要总是压抑自己的情绪。”</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><p style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">过分在意别人会不会不高兴，甚至不惜牺牲自己来满足别人的要求，这样的结果往往是伤害自己，容易演变成“讨好型人格”。</span></span></p><p style="text-indent: 2em;"> </p><p style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">父母可以这样对孩子说：</span>“<span style="text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.578px; font-size: 18px;">你不需要让所有人都喜欢你，重要的是，你要永远喜欢自己。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em; text-indent: 2em;">学校里有其他小朋友说不想和你做朋友，这不是你的错。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em; text-indent: 2em;">就像熊猫喜欢吃竹子不喜欢吃香蕉一样，这并不代表香蕉不好，只是还没有遇到喜欢吃香蕉的猴子。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em; text-indent: 2em;">”</span></p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section></section></section></section></section><section></section></section></section></section><p> </p><section style="font-size: 16px; color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="font-size: 19px; text-align: center; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: -30px; transform: translate3d(-1px, 0px, 0px);"><section style="display: inline-block; background-color: #f0db6f; width: 1.8em; height: 1.8em; line-height: 1.8em; border-radius: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; font-size: 34px; color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #f0db6f;"><p><strong>2</strong></p></section></section><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; padding: 30px; background-color: #f9faf4; border: 0px solid #f0db6f;"><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"> </p></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="color: #d6a841; font-size: 18px;">“孩子，勇敢表达你的想法”</span></strong></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-indent: 32px; background-color: #f9faf4;">为人父母，请一定要告诉孩子：“</span>亲爱的孩子，向别人表达自己的需求是一件很酷的事情，要勇敢地说出自己的想法。”</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;"> </span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">平日里，父母可以引导孩子多多表达自己真实的内心需要。</span><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">在不同的情景</span><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">中，鼓励孩子讲出自己的意见和想法，让他们逐渐建立起表达自信。</span><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">当孩子愿意尝试表达时，父母要多给予他们鼓励和支持。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">即使有时孩子的表达不太流利或者不太得体，父母也要尽量给予积极的评价，让他们感受到自己的努力得到了认可，然后再陪伴孩子一起提高表达能力。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section></section><section><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></section><section><section></section></section><section><section><section><section><section style="color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="font-size: 19px; text-align: center; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: -30px; transform: translate3d(-1px, 0px, 0px);"><section style="display: inline-block; background-color: #f0db6f; width: 1.8em; height: 1.8em; line-height: 1.8em; border-radius: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; font-size: 34px; color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #f0db6f;"><p><strong>3</strong></p></section></section><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; padding: 30px; background-color: #f9faf4; border: 0px solid #f0db6f;"><section style="font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"> </p></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px; color: #d6a841;">“孩子，你要学会拒绝不合理要求”</span></strong></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-indent: 32px; background-color: #f9faf4;">为人父母，请一定要告诉孩子：“</span><span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-indent: 32px; background-color: #f9faf4;">亲爱的孩子，面对不合理的要求，你可以大胆拒绝。”</span></span></section><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"> </p><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">日常生活中，父母可以在适当的时候，向孩子展示如何拒绝他人不合理的要求。当孩子勇气不足时，还可以告诉他：“孩子，如果你不喜欢，可以直接拒绝，没关系的。”</span></section><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;"> </span></p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">最重要的是，家长需要尊重孩子的意愿和选择。当孩子表达自己不愿意做某件事时</span><span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">，家长应该认真倾听原因、尊重孩子的决定，而不要一味强迫孩子“听话”。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section></section><section></section></section></section></section></section><section><section><section><section><section><section style="color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="font-size: 19px; text-align: center; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: -30px; transform: translate3d(-1px, 0px, 0px);"><section style="display: inline-block; background-color: #f0db6f; width: 1.8em; height: 1.8em; line-height: 1.8em; border-radius: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; font-size: 34px; color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #f0db6f;"><p><strong>4</strong></p></section></section><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; padding: 30px; background-color: #f9faf4; border: 0px solid #f0db6f;"><section style="font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"> </p></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">“孩子，你做得非常棒”</span></strong></span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-indent: 32px; background-color: #f9faf4;">为人父母，请一定要告诉孩子：“亲爱的孩子，你真的很棒，我们都为你骄傲。”</span></span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">孩子在受到夸赞时，内驱力会大大提高。正面的认可，会给孩子积极的心理暗示，更容易唤醒孩子的内驱力。</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;"> </span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">孩子遇到挫折时，他们内心已经经受一层打击，有些脆弱了。</span><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">这时，家长的鼓励可以为孩子内心注入巨大的能量，让孩子重新振作起来。</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;"> </span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">经常说“这件事你做得非常棒”，就是告诉孩子“我看到了你的努力，我为你骄傲。”</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em; text-indent: 2em;">孩子的闪光点被看见，相信“我能行”，才能坚定不移地继续为目标而努力。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section></section><section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section><section><section style="font-size: 16px; color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="font-size: 19px; text-align: center; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: -30px; transform: translate3d(-1px, 0px, 0px);"><section style="display: inline-block; background-color: #f0db6f; width: 1.8em; height: 1.8em; line-height: 1.8em; border-radius: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; font-size: 34px; color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #f0db6f;"><p><strong>5</strong></p></section></section><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; padding: 30px; background-color: #f9faf4; border: 0px solid #f0db6f;"><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"> </p></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="color: #d6a841; font-size: 18px;">“孩子，我永远爱你”</span></strong></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><section style="margin-bottom: 0px; color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; background-color: #f9faf4; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">为人父母，请一定要坚定地告诉孩子：“孩子，我永远爱你。”</span></section><section style="margin-bottom: 0px; color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; white-space: normal; background-color: #f9faf4; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em;"> </span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">心理学研究表明，每一个孩子在童年期，都需要父母“无条件的爱”。童年时期</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">缺爱的孩子可能会为了博取别人的关注，一味地迎合别人的想法，形成“讨好型人格”。<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.612px; text-indent: 32px; background-color: #f9faf4;">当孩子明白父母的爱是无条件的，他们才会更有自信和勇气，去面对未来。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">平日里，请不要吝啬爱的表达。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">我们要让孩子明白，父母的爱是他们最坚强的后盾，是他们探索世界的勇气和动力，更是他们遭遇挫折后能够爬起来继续前进的底气。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section></section></section></section><section><section style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">愿每个孩子</span></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">都能在爱与理解中</span></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">成长为内心强大</span></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d6a841;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">独立自信的人</span></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;"></section><hr style="white-space: normal; outline: 0px; color: #222222; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff; border-style: solid; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); transform-origin: 0px 0px 0px; transform: scale(1, 0.5);" /><section style="margin-bottom: 0px; white-space: normal; outline: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; background-color: #ffffff;"><span style="outline: 0px; font-size: 16px;">来源：人民日报夜读，综合光明少年杂志等 | 主播：蓝艳</span></section></section><p style="display: none;"> </p> <!----></div> 必须的，666666
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