一个人的夜 发表于 昨天 15:13

不要在小事上反复纠正孩子

<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712"><!--    付费贴-->    <div class="preview_article ">            <!---->    <section style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 8px;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img js_insertlocalimg" style="width: 100%; height: auto;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/FgLtbpzH7Qu42_42usBySVcGDpyO" /></section><section></section><section style="font-size: 16px; color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="text-align: right; justify-content: flex-end; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-top: 33px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; height: auto; background-color: #eff6ed; padding: 22px;"><section style="text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto;"></section><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%;"><section style="transform: perspective(0px); transform-style: flat;"><section style="margin-top: -48px; line-height: 0; transform: translate3d(17px, 0px, 0px) rotateY(180deg);"><section style="vertical-align: middle; display: inline-block; line-height: 0; width: 140.68px; height: auto;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" style="vertical-align: middle; width: 100%;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/Fk1Gx68j8-VGVKnUvHfjc-HWvtqP" /></section></section></section></section></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="color: #407600; font-size: 18px;">父母在小事上反复纠正</span></strong></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="color: #407600; font-size: 18px;">会养出一个越来越沉默的孩子</span></strong></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;">&nbsp;</p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">不少家长认为,教育的关键就是要指出孩子的错误,于是对那些鸡毛蒜皮的小事也斤斤计较、过于挑剔,对孩子稍有不满就唠叨不停。然而,如果总是过度纠错,只能养出一个越来越沉默的孩子。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">例如,有的家长陪孩子练字时,总是频繁纠错:&ldquo;这一横歪了,那一撇太斜了。&rdquo;当父母不断纠正每一个笔画,孩子可能从此丧失了练字的自信和热情&mdash;&mdash;既然练字总是会收到批评,拒绝练习反而是一种安全的选择。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">你可以想象一下,当你在专注做某件事的时候,旁边有人指指点点,你也会畏手畏脚,想要停下眼前的事情。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">更可怕的是,有的父母在纠错的时候,还会给孩子贴上各种各样的负面标签,如&ldquo;笨手笨脚&rdquo;&ldquo;粗心大意&rdquo;&ldquo;不用心&rdquo;&hellip;&hellip;不知不觉,原本一个小问题,就真的变成了&ldquo;大问题&rdquo;了。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"></section><p style="text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">每个孩子的成长,都需要时间去探索和试错。如果每件小事,父母都不断纠正、指责,只会让孩子泄气,从而缺乏前进的动力和勇气。</span></p></section></section></section></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0px; text-indent: 0em;"></section><section style="color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="text-align: right; justify-content: flex-end; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-top: 33px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; height: auto; background-color: #eff6ed; padding: 22px;"><section style="font-size: 16px; text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto;"></section><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%;"><section style="transform: perspective(0px); transform-style: flat;"><section style="margin-top: -48px; line-height: 0; transform: translate3d(17px, 0px, 0px) rotateY(180deg);"><section style="vertical-align: middle; display: inline-block; line-height: 0; width: 140.68px; height: auto;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" style="vertical-align: middle; width: 100%;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/Fk1Gx68j8-VGVKnUvHfjc-HWvtqP" /></section></section></section></section></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">在小事上反复纠正孩子</span></strong></span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">容易将缺点固化</span></strong></span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;">&nbsp;</p><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">事实上,孩子做好每一件事,都需要很长的时间去练习。年纪小的孩子,本身就不可能事事完美。</span></section><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">父母的过度纠错是一种&ldquo;缺陷视角&rdquo;,将注意力聚焦在孩子的不足上,只会让孩子一遍遍反复记忆自己的缺点,最终在孩子心里刻下&ldquo;我做不好&rdquo;的自我认知。</span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">其实,每个孩子都有一定的自我纠正的能力。一个2岁的孩子看到小狗,会说&ldquo;是汪汪&rdquo;,随着认知发展,到了3岁时,他们很自然地自动修正为&ldquo;是小狗&rdquo;。有时候,一些小错误,也是孩子成长的一个过程。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></p><p style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">总是在小事上纠正孩子,反而可能让缺点固化,最终难以改变。同理,当我们持续关注优点时,优点也会像滚雪球一样不断壮大。</span></p><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">还是拿练字来说,如果你不打扰孩子练习,而是练习后指出他的优点:&ldquo;这一竖写得真直,这个捺写得很有力度&rdquo;,通过捕捉并强化每一个细微的进步,就会指引孩子朝着"我可以写得更好"的方向前进。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">这是一种积极的&ldquo;正面关注<span style="color: #3e3e3e; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-indent: 34px; background-color: #eff6ed;">&rdquo;</span>,大脑会对被关注的部分产生强化反应,通过这样持续地发现和强化优点,孩子会逐渐把每个笔画都写好。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"></section><section style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin-bottom: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff; letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-align: center;"></section><section style="color: #3e3e3e;"><section style="text-align: right; justify-content: flex-end; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap; margin-top: 33px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: inline-block; width: 100%; vertical-align: top; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto; height: auto; background-color: #eff6ed; padding: 22px;"><section style="font-size: 16px; text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; display: flex; flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%; align-self: flex-start; flex: 0 0 auto;"></section><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 50%;"><section style="transform: perspective(0px); transform-style: flat;"><section style="margin-top: -48px; line-height: 0; transform: translate3d(17px, 0px, 0px) rotateY(180deg);"><section style="vertical-align: middle; display: inline-block; line-height: 0; width: 140.68px; height: auto;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" style="vertical-align: middle; width: 100%;" src="https://pic.app.58cammp.com/Fk1Gx68j8-VGVKnUvHfjc-HWvtqP" /></section></section></section></section></section><section style="text-align: justify;"><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">孩子的成长</span></strong></span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="color: #407600;"><strong><span style="font-size: 18px;">需要容错空间</span></strong></span></p><p style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></p><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">对于原则性问题,家长必须指出和纠正孩子的行为,但对于生活中鸡毛蒜皮的小事,不必反复、过度纠正。</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">那些终日被负面评价包围的孩子,会形成这样的思维模式:&ldquo;我怎么这么笨&rdquo;&ldquo;我总是搞砸事情&rdquo;&ldquo;我不值得被爱&rdquo;。而沐浴在积极关注中的孩子,会这样考虑问题:&ldquo;我可以试试&rdquo;&ldquo;犯错也没关系&rdquo;&ldquo;我做得不好,但不影响我值得被爱&rdquo;。</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="font-size: 16px; white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">教育是一场温暖的陪伴,不是一场严苛的审判。父母可以通过示范和引导,让孩子自己发现问题、解决问题,而不是一味挑剔、指责他们。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">&nbsp;</span></section><section style="white-space: normal; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 18px;">允许犯错,孩子才能学会担当;给予宽容,孩子才会懂得自爱。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">多给孩子一些空间,让他们在试错中成长,在探索中发现自己的力量。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, PingFang SC, system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; text-indent: 2em; letter-spacing: 0.034em;">这样,他们才能成为自信、独立、有担当的人。</span></section></section></section></section></section><section style="text-indent: 2em;"></section><p>&nbsp;</p><hr style="white-space: normal; outline: 0px; color: #222222; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff; border-style: solid; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); transform-origin: 0px 0px 0px; transform: scale(1, 0.5);" /><section style="margin-bottom: 0px; white-space: normal; outline: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; background-color: #ffffff;"><span style="outline: 0px; font-size: 16px;">来源:人民日报夜读,综合钱志亮工作室&nbsp;|&nbsp; 主播:赵文龙</span></section><section class="empty_paragraph" style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"></section><p class="empty_paragraph" style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: right;">&nbsp;</p><p style="display: none;">&nbsp;</p>    <!----></div>            
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